


as many loves as hearts

by KoreRosemarinus



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Imperial Russia, Aristocracy, Dissatisfied marriage, F/M, Finn and Rey are siblings, Historical Accuracy is slightly off, Imperial Russia, Infidelity, Inspired by Anna Karenina, Just not a great husband, Kylo is a politician, Multi, Period-Typical Sexism, Poe is Not a Great Guy Nor a Bad Guy, Rey and Poe start out (unhappily) married, Rey is married to Army Officer Poe, Rey is not happy in her marriage, Supportive Leia Organa, This is not for the Damereys, This is some bourgeois nonsense, adopted families, finnrose - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:26:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28682520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KoreRosemarinus/pseuds/KoreRosemarinus
Summary: Rey and Poe  married for convenience and social capital. Their marriage is stable and tolerable, and Rey is content by all stretches of the imagination. However, as the pressure to give more to her husband at the expense of happiness mounts, she meets Kylo Ren, an up-and-coming politician from an influential family. As she begins the love affair of a lifetime, she questions her purpose and what could possibly come before love.ᴀꜱ ᴍᴀɴʏ ʟᴏᴠᴇꜱ ᴀꜱ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛꜱ // 𝕒 ℝ𝕖𝕪𝕝𝕠 𝔸𝕌 𝕚𝕟𝕤𝕡𝕚𝕣𝕖𝕕 𝕓𝕪 "𝔸𝕟𝕟𝕒 𝕂𝕒𝕣𝕖𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕒" 𝕓𝕪 𝕃𝕖𝕠 𝕋𝕠𝕝𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕪
Relationships: Kylo Ren & Rey, Kylo Ren/Rey, Poe Dameron & Rey, Poe Dameron/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 8
Kudos: 29





	1. uncertainty

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all! I'm so excited to share my latest love with you all finally. This story came about while I was watching the Anna Karenina movie with Keira Knightley and I was obsessed with the fashion that I was like "There must be a Reylo AU somewhere."
> 
> And, of course, there was!
> 
>  **A little bit of housekeeping:**  
>  \- I cannot stress the "inspired" part of the description enough. It is loosely inspired by the story of Anna Karenina but most certainly not a strict adaptation of the story. So, you will not have to worry, it will have a happier ending.  
> \- There will be infidelity (it is a central part of the narrative). If this will be an iffy point for you, I recommend some of my other fics for your enjoyment.  
> \- Poe and Rey start out married. Spoiler Alert, Rey is not happily married to him so the infidelity is key for that reason. However, if you do not really like the idea of Rey being with anyone else, then again I have other fics that might work for you better!  
> \- The historical accuracy is more or less there, but like all of my historical fics, there will be some suspension of that detail for the sake of narrative fantasy. In this fic, the role of women will be accurate to the period (much like how it is described in the original novel) and their limitations in a patriarchal society will be a large point of the narrative. If this will be a bit of a trigger for you, again, I encourage you to look at my other fics.
> 
> If you have any particular questions about these, feel free to ask me on Twitter!
> 
> As always, I will have my reference notes (Historical and SW mentions) in the end notes. 
> 
> And with that, enjoy!

* * *

**ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟙: 𝕌𝕟𝕔𝕖𝕣𝕥𝕒𝕚𝕟𝕥𝕪**

**ɪᴍᴘᴇʀɪᴀʟ ʀᴜꜱꜱɪᴀ, 1877**

The unforgiving snow of the Russian countryside stuck to the window of Reyna Damerona’s car as she dozed off to the lullaby of train tracks. The night sky was lit up only with a small number of stars. The journey to Moscow from St. Petersburg was a long one, and Reyna rarely elected to undergo such a trip. She was always an active soul who fed off exuberance and excitement, and so felt unease from the perpetual monotony of sitting for hours. 

But Rey loved her family: they always came first. 

Fyoder, or Finn as everyone around him called him, was her only family before she married Pyotr Dameron and before he married Rose. The two of them were the adopted children of Princess Maztryona Kanata, who brought them both up as members of high Imperial Russian society. When the Princess died, Finn inherited the estate of Takodana while Rey looked to getting married for financial stability. 

When she met Poe, a hardened military man of noble stock, Rey didn’t imagine herself as his wife. He, as charming as he looked, was every bit a military man and a pragmatist. He didn’t find much stock in romantic gestures or society at large beyond the necessary events required of military high command. However he was never unkind towards Rey, and respected her wholeheartedly as his wife and head of his household. She also found some peace in the security of their marriage, and that was so much more than the fleeting intoxication of romance. 

And love came in many forms beyond the romantic. Rey thought as much, at least. 

She found it in the domestic bliss of Rose and Finn’s marriage. In their five years of marriage, they had five children, the youngest of which was being baptized in the next few days. When Finn asked her to attend, Rey, being a loving and compassionate aunt, was more than happy to make the trip. 

When Poe saw her off at the train station, he wished her well and kissed her hand with minute adoration. Rey, who looked like the picture of a respectable society woman, smiled at her husband and proceeded to board the train with the promise of writing to him when she arrived at Takodana. It wasn’t so much out of love as it was obligation, but Rey was alright making the effort for him. 

She pulled her furs closer around her, preparing herself for a deep sleep, when the small cough of her car mate stirred her. She turned her gaze to the elder woman across from her and took notice of her elegance. Similar to Rey, she was enveloped in furs and adorned with excellent jewelry and accessories. However, she could tell that there was a finer quality of the clothes and thus the woman was definitely of higher rank than her. 

The woman woke up and caught Rey’s eyes and gave a small smile in greeting. She gave a similar greeting in return, which prompted the elder woman to respond.

“You’re a charming creature,” she said with a voice like honey and wine, “What brings you to Moscow?”

Rey straightened up and replied, “My niece is being christened. How about yourself?”

“I’m returning home to my son,” the woman responded, adjusting her posture slightly, “I was in St. Petersburg for the hearing on the Turkish conflict.”

Rey was in awe of the woman. To be privy to such a governmental affair was truly indicative of her status. Only a few women in Russia had that privilege, and Rey remembered late night conversations with Poe where he mentioned a former diplomat who traveled all over on the behalf of the tsar. She figured that this woman was most likely her, or was perhaps of some relation.

“How exciting!” Rey responded with authentic glee, “You must know of my husband then, Pyotr Kesovich Dameron?”

The woman smiled more warmly and responded, “Yes, I do. So that makes you Lady Reyna Mazonova Damerona, then?”

“Yes, that would be me.”

The woman bowed her head slightly in a formal greeting, “I’m Countess Leia Bajlonova Organa. It is a pleasure to meet you Reyna.”

“The pleasure is all mine,” Rey responded with a small head nod, “And you can call me Rey, Countess. Most people do.”

“Very well then, Rey.”

The two women then passed the rest of the train ride talking about the latest societal developments in between the occasional bits of gossip. In the last hour of their train ride, Rey told her all about her nieces and nephews while Leia discussed her late husband and her son, a rising politician in his own rite. 

“He was always so bright, my Ben,” she said, so full of adoration, “And he grew up to be a fine young man. He didn’t have the easiest childhood, always full of a tempest. It makes him a great politician, though, that passion that he has. He’s quite the speaker you know.”

“Is he really?” Rey murmured with rapt attention, “I don’t follow politics too much, but would I know of him?”

The Countess frowned, and Rey for a moment feared she had offended her. However, the half smile that followed indicated not offense but perhaps just ordinary pain from a distant memory.

“You would probably know of him under a different name. He sought to make his own name in politics, and I suppose distance himself from my shadow,” Leia pondered, her fingers rubbing her chin in anxious thought. 

Rey responded with a polite smile, “You sound very proud of him nonetheless.”

The older woman smiled warmly, brightening up her face. 

“I am indeed. I’ll have to introduce you when he picks me up at the station. You have someone picking you up, yes?”

Rey nodded, “Yes, my brother is picking me up.”

Leia smirked, “With all those younglings in tow?”

Rey attempted to hide her giggle behind her hand. “Oh god no, my sister will probably be watching them.”

The Countess replied with, “I can’t wait to meet him.”

The conductor then at that point walked into the compartment: “ _Madames_ , we will be arriving in Moscow shortly.”

She looked at Rey with sparkling eyes, “Speak of the devil.”

Rey sighed in relief, knowing her long trek was over. “And not a moment too soon.”

* * *

The minor chaos of the crowds of the train station diffused around him as Kylo Ren checked his pocket watch for the time. His mother’s train would be arriving at any moment and he began to become frustrated with waiting. For a busy man like him, waiting for such frivolities seemed beneath him. 

Kylo Ren was a rising statesman in the Russian bureaucracy, and as such always had to attend meetings and give one of his legendary incendiary speeches during First Order party meetings. His mentor Ivan Snoke often requested his assistance with recruiting new members to their party, which was an honor in its own rite. In his pursuit of climbing the bureaucratic ladder, Kylo did whatever was asked of him, at the expense of his free time and relationships with other people, including his mother the Countess Organa. Out of some realm of social decency, and in recognition of the recent death of his father, the Honorable Han Solo, the bureaucrat had attempted to repair the previously frayed relationship between him and his mother and had accomplished some recent success with it. Hence his move to oblige his mother’s request to escort her back to the estate from the train station. 

He huffed and put his pocket watch away. He adjusted his black heavy overcoat as he saw the 12:05 train from St. Petersburg had begun to arrive at the station. Kylo Ren, a secretly anxious person, pulled down his gloves and tightened his wrists in some vain attempt to calm himself. Despite the renewed bonds of familial affection, he never truly felt comfortable around his mother. He had perpetually lived in the shadow of her greatness, and he could not thrive in that caustic darkness. Hence why, at the age of 18, he murdered the name of Beniamin Hanovich Solo into the ashes of history and reclaimed himself as Kylo Ren. 

He vowed to never go back to that name, family bonds be damned. _Let the past die_ , he decided. However, it seemed the future had other plans for him.

The train’s breaks screamed throughout the station, and Kylo walked down the steps towards the First Class carriage. On his way down, he nearly got run over by a well-to-do aristocratic man with umber brown skin that was holding onto his black silk top hat. 

“Sorry!” He exclaimed back at Kylo as he rushed forward past him down the stairs. Kylo grimaced and said nothing in return. _The nerve of some people these days_ , he thought to himself. 

He made his way to the platform and saw that the aristocrat was eagerly waiting for the main carriage door to finally open. He barged in once it did and Kylo, not wanting to spend further time in the chaos of the train station than was necessary, followed inside shortly after. In contrast though, he followed with calm poise acquired from long years of tutoring and tutting from his mother on behaving accordingly.

He turned into the carriage and saw the aristocrat hug a fur-encased woman, dressed in similar status, laughing and smiling with such exuberance. It was such a happy moment that Kylo was almost jealous. 

But what stopped him in his tracks was when he got a full glance of the celestial and otherworldly smile of the woman. Her smile went up to her eyes and her cheeks were flushed a beautiful shade of pink from laughter.

How anyone could take their eyes away from such a sight was beyond his comprehension.

The woman then turned her eyes to him and for the brief moment they locked eyes he swore he saw all the stars and heavens. A bond formed between them in that moment, and he felt tight in his chest and a severe reluctance to look away from her. 

She broke their gaze and immediately looked at her companion and smiled. Her companion looked at him and nodded his head in greeting.

“My apologies, my friend,” he said, holding out a hand for him to shake, “For almost knocking you over on the stairs earlier. I have sadly not seen my sister in a very long time and I was a little too excited to see her it seems.”

Kylo took his hand, for decorum’s sake, and replied, “No need to apologize.”

The men unlocked hands and there was a brief moment where Kylo caught the penetrating gaze of the women. He wondered if she felt it too, this bond between them.

The man broke the silence, “I’m Finn Mazovich Kanata, and this is my sister Lady Reyna Mazonova Damerona.”

The woman bowed slightly in greeting. “A pleasure, sir.”

Her voice was like feeling every bit of silk and velvet that Kylo could imagine all at once. It bloomed such sweetness in his chest he thought he might cry. He was never one for proper affection beyond the general courting of what was required of his station. But he knew in that moment he was so smitten with this woman that he was beyond hope.

Kylo, in a move out of his stoic character, took Lady Damerona’s hand and kissed her gloved knuckles. He heard a small intake of breath and immediately looked up to her eyes.

There was no mistake: she definitely felt it too.

He finally found his voice and muttered as he stood back up, “The pleasure is all mine, my lady.”

Before Kylo was about to share his name, the door to the nearby compartment opened again and the proud and unmistakable visage of his mother appeared.

“Oh, my dear,” she said, turning to Lady Damerona, “it seems that you’ve found your brother and you’ve already met my son.” 

The lady looked back to look at Kylo with some familiarity and unmistakable warmth, and he felt like he was about to be positively ruined for this woman. 

“It’s wonderful to finally put a face to the name,” she said, “Your mother told me so much about you, I feel as if we’re acquainted already.” 

Kylo swallowed, and muttered in false decorum. “I hope it was only good things.”

The lady laughed and Kylo was almost shocked: he can’t recall a time he actually made anyone laugh. 

“Forgive me,” Lady Damerona said with a small tinge of flush across her cheeks, “It was not right of me to laugh. Of course they were wonderful things.”

Kylo gave a small half smile. “You can laugh at any time, my lady, as long as it pleases you.” 

His mother shot him a suspicious look, one that would make most men cave to under its interrogation. Countess Leia Bajlonova Organa was infamous for her ability to command the room, and as one of Russia’s leading diplomats she was well experienced in making men around her submit to her needs. And she knew when she saw suspicious behavior. 

It was then that Finn suggested, “Rey, shall we go see the children?” 

No matter what Kylo could not look over the beauty in her name - it took his breath away. She was in every way the sun, and it was an apt description for the lady’s countenance.

She nodded enthusiastically and turned to his mother. “Thank you again, Countess Organa. I hope you enjoy your time in Moscow.”

She smiled so warmly and embraced her with a tight hug and two kisses on the cheek. “Of course my dear,” she said, “I hope to see you and your dear family at the Mothmas' ball. I’m sure your husband wouldn’t mind.”

And there it was. Kylo’s heart shattered and he swore the pieces fell out of his chest onto the carpeted floor of the train. Of course she was married, and he was ashamed he didn’t pick up on it sooner.

But what broke his heart further was the defeated and stoic look on her face at the mention of her husband. He could see the depths of her apathy so clearly in that moment. If she had to be married, Kylo hoped that she would at least be happy and he could move on from the fleeting attraction.

But she certainly wasn’t that.

Lady Damerona gave a small half-hearted smile in return to the Countess. “I’m sure, but I would hate to impose.”

“Nonsense, the Mothmas are an old friend of mine, I’m sure they’d love to have you and your family there. I'll make sure to have invites sent to the Takodana estate.”

Lady Damerona’s brother smiled and gave a small and short kiss to his mother’s knuckles. “We’d be delighted, Countess. And I hope to make your acquaintance properly then.”

The Countess smiled. “Wonderful, and until then enjoy your time in Moscow, Rey.”

Lady Damerona smiled a little brighter and nodded towards her. “I will, Countess.”

She turned to Kylo and smiled even more brightly and gave a small curtsy. “It was wonderful to meet you, Lord Solo.”

His heart stopped: he had not heard that name in such a long time that it for a moment seemed so foreign to him. Even his mother knew never to call him that, and had danced around the subject in their correspondence. But in private she probably felt inclined to call him whatever she pleased.

But from Lady Damerona’s lips it sounded like the finest honey. It would be sacrilegious to correct her. If anything, he wanted that name to be dripping from her lips until the end of time.

He met her eyes and his lips curled slightly as he responded, “And you, Rey.”

It was perhaps his break in social protocol that shocked her, but for whatever reason her eyes widened and softened slightly. She began to walk away with her brother in tow, and Kylo could not stop looking at her fur adorned silhouette as she did. 

Countess Organa stood in all her graces as she walked closer to Kylo. Her furs extended all the way down past her ankles, adding to her regal image. She supported herself on her ornate cane as she walked alongside Kylo off the carriage and onto the platform, the perfect picture of mother and son.

“Charming, don't you think?” She said as they walked.

“Yes, I dare say she is.”

Countess Organa smirked affectionately.

“Oh, my dear boy, I fear you are far too gone.” 

Kylo huffed as they walked out of the station, presenting his normally stoic face. “I have no idea what you are referring to, Mother.”

His mother gave a small chuckle. The wheels of Fate began to turn.

“Perhaps I will invite her to tea.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Historical Notes**  
>  \- The title of the fic is from the quote "There are as many loves as there are hearts" from the novel, which is meant to hint at the fact love takes on many different forms. (its different for everyone because everyone is unique, yknow?)  
> -The Russian naming conventions are a little different than the Western convention. Basically, when a woman is married, she will take on the husbands last name but will have a feminized ending to it (hence why Dameron becomes Damerona for our dear Rey). Additionally, there will be a "patronym" as a middle name, which is derived from the father's first name (also why Ben/Kylo is Beniamin Hanovich Solo) which also has a feminine/masculine distinction. More infomation [here](http://russian.cornell.edu/grammar/html/patronymics.htm).  
> \- As anyone who follows me will confirm, I am the biggest fan of voicedimplosives' "Go I Know Wither" 1990s Russian Mafia AU. It is truly one of the best fics out there and it is what inspired me to write myself. Her fic (located [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14481504/chapters/34447319#workskin)) inspired some of the "Russofied" names in this fic (specifically Ben/Kylo + Snoke's names), and I must give credit to her for that. Thank you for your brilliant writing <3  
> -French culture was prolifically celebrated and adapted as a status symbol for the Russian aristocracy during the Imperial era (1870s/1880s - the reign of Tsar Alexander I basically). I'll explain more in the next chapter as it comes into great significance there but please reference [here](https://www.myfrenchlife.org/2012/04/26/anna-karenina-french-in-the-late-19th-century-russian-court/) for any relevant information.  
> -The "Turkish Conflict" Leia refers to is the [Russo-Turkish War of 1877/78](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russo-Turkish_War_\(1877%E2%80%931878\)). 
> 
> Harass me on Twitter and Tumblr!


	2. promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “If it pleases you, my lady, you may call me Lord Solo in private.” 
> 
> Her eyes softened, opening their padlocks into the kind spirit within. “Thank you, my lord. I do prefer the sound of Ben Solo.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you **ALL** so much for your positive support via comments, kudos, RTs, etc. with this fic's first chapter. As an author, I primarily write for myself but seeing all your wonderful comments and the support makes it that much sweeter for me <3 Thank you so so much!!
> 
> Oh boy this is a DOOZY chapter - its a long one BUT theres some good points in there too so I hope you all enjoy this one. The awkward bougie flirting continues!
> 
> I'll put the reference notes as always in the end notes, which includes translations of the Russian monikers I use in this chapter. I **don't** know Russian fluently and so I might get things wrong: if you know Russian super well and know I need to correct any of my translations, please let me know! 
> 
> Other than that, I don't have much housekeeping other than that, so enjoy!

* * *

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟚: ℙ𝕣𝕠𝕞𝕚𝕤𝕖

When Rey returned with Finn to the family house, she was promptly greeted by the rambunctious flurry of her two nephews at the door, their sisters not to be seen. The eldest boy Temiri had somehow attached himself to her skirts as he chanted, tugging at them, “ _ Tetya _ , _ tetya _ , did you bring a present for us?”

Young Banai, always following his brother, hung off Temiri’s shoulders, further weighing down Rey’s heavy skirts. “ _ Tetya _ ,” he echoed, “Tell us you brought a gift, oh please,  _ tetya _ !”

Rey’s giggles bounced off the walls of the entryway as she bent down to greet her nephews. Finn scoffed at the soft treatment of his sons, not explicitly endorsing Rey’s faint spoiling of them.

“Of course, my little ducklings,” she responded as she smothered them in a tight hug, “How could I neglect such a thing!”

The boys lit up and bounced like toy balls. Their father, his adoring exhaustion starting to become more evident, nudged them towards the reception hall. 

“Come on, you little devils, let’s go find your mother,” he encouraged. Rey stood up fully and began to shuck off her coat to give the butler as Finn turned back around to address her, “The girls are probably with her and the new baby.”

Rey smiled as she responded, “Ah, of course. How has it been with Natasha?” 

The boys ran off towards the drawing room and Finn stood still as he waited for Rey to catch up. Siblings walked in step with each other, arms interlocked, as they discussed their family matters. 

Finn sighed. “It’s been busy, and I was worried about Rose since she's our fifth but she persevered. We’ve been lucky: Natasha has a strong spirit and has been doing well.”

Rey huffed with a small smirk as they followed the peals of children’s laughter to the drawing room. 

“Not unlike her mother,” she remarked. 

Finn smiled with such adoration, Rey’s heart squeezed in near envy of her brother and sister. “Yes, very much so.”

Rey patted her brother’s arm lovingly. “I know I’ve said this from the beginning but I’m so happy you both found each other, Finn.”

He smiled, showing all his teeth, and held her hand. “Thank you, Rey. I feel truly blessed with the family God has given me, and not just my wife and children.”

She gave him a warm smile back. She always treasured the time she had with her brother, which unfortunately was in modest supply after she got married. It was moments like this that she remembered despite her apathetic husband she was so very much loved by her family. 

Which was a lot more than most people got, and Rey was very aware of that. Hence, why knee deep in her grief over her unhappy marriage, she chastised herself for it: she was able to live a life that was never planned for her and keep her station and a roof over her head all the while. She may be married to a military man who showed little affection for her but at least it was something. It may not be Rose and Finn’s love match but it was a good match nonetheless.

When they made it to the drawing room, Rey sighed at the beautiful and wholesome picture of her sister-in-law Rose, with dark circles under her eyes paired with an unfaltering grin, flanked by her children on the oversized chaise as she nestled her beautiful baby Natalya. Her two daughters Kaydel and Jessika watched with slight curiosity at their mother cooing at their newest sister. As Rey came into view, the two girls screeched and ran up to their aunt. 

She wondered when her nieces became proper ladies as they curtsied before their  _ tetya _ . Rey curtsied before them in greeting.

“It’s so good to see you  _ tetya _ ,” said Jessika, mimicking the high echelon of society at the age of 6. 

Kaydel echoed her sister with all the poise of a lady even though she just turned 5, “Did you have a good trip?”

Rey grinned as she bent down and hugged her nieces, treasuring the moment, “Ah my little angels, it’s so good to see you.” As she released them, she met their brimming grins. “You both are such ladies I would’ve thought you were two little  _ tsarinas _ .”

Kaydel giggled as Rey pinched her cheek. She ran back to her mother on the couch, who was nursing the new baby. Finn separated to follow Jessika and the boys towards their toys and dolls in the corner of the room. Rey followed Kaydel and greeted her sister-in-law with two kisses on the cheek. 

“As always,” she remarked, “Motherhood suits you well, my dear Rosie.”

“Oh now,” Rose replied, waving off her praise, “Now I know you are just full of it.”

Rey sat beside her on the couch and rested her legs. She sighed and released the traveling air from under her skirts. 

“How was your journey?” Rose asked, waving the attending nursemaid and doorman over to take Natalya and prepare tea for them, respectively.

“It was alright, I met the Countess Organa. She made the journey much more bearable.”

Her sister-in-law’s eyes sparkled. “Is she as marvelous as people say? Paige met her at one of the Countess’ salons and could not say enough grandiose things about her. What a legend, that woman.”

“Yes, her stories were so full of adventure. Her son picked her up at the same time Finn did.”

The sparkled died down in Rose’s eyes. “Was he agreeable? I’ve heard some awful things from other ladies.”

Rey’s face became more shocked in response to Rose’s concern. 

“Nothing but so. How strange, he seemed so approachable and charming at the station,” she followed, a small smile dancing on the edges of her lips. 

Rose raised her eyebrow in benign suspicion while the butler prepared the tea for the two ladies and the gentleman. “Was he? That sounds quite unlike Kylo Ren.”

“I thought he was Ben Solo?” Rey inquired.

“He used to be,” Rose supplied, “but he decided to change his name when he went into politics. Wanted to make a name for himself, apparently.”

Rey nodded. “Ah, the Countess said something like that as well. And is he not normally approachable?”

“Not beyond social convention. He’s otherwise known for his temper and icy demeanor in society. But, of course, you must make do. It’s certainly unheard of him being  _ flirtatious _ ,” she remarked with a quirked brow and smug smile.

Rey scoffed at the accusation. Finn rang for the governess to take the children away. She gave her love to her nieces and nephews as they left, assuring them that their gifts were coming from the station, and he sat in the armchair across from them.

“Yes, _moi_ _ zaika _ ,” he said as he sat down, “I thought the same thing. He was certainly taken with our dear Rey, that’s for sure.”

Rey flushed in embarrassment and fiddled with the wedding band and ring around her right ring finger. She certainly felt some chemistry between the two of them but would never go as far as to say it was anything more than a charming encounter. 

She wouldn’t dare. Even if she struggled to deny the intoxicating effect of his eyes on her mortal form.

“I’m a happily married woman, Finn,” she responded, taking a sip of her rose tea. 

“Of course!” Finn replied in jest, “I just was pointing out a fact.”

Rey coughed, signaling her discomfort on the topic, and shifted the topic of conversation. “Yes, and Countess Organa invited us to the Mothmas’ ball, which was very kind of her. She’s sending invitations here shortly, I believe.”

Rose eyes lit up. “Really? That sounds so lovely. It’s been awhile since we’ve been to a ball, hasn’t it, _moi _s_ olnishko_?”

Finn smiled over his teacup at his wife.

“Must have been when Natasha was conceived.”

The ladies groaned before falling into soft giggling. “Please Finn, I beg you, do not go into detail about your private relationship with your wife,” Rey begged in between giggles. 

At that moment the butler appeared and announced himself. Everyone turned to him as he walked over to Finn with the mail dish. He took the envelopes and opened them, reading the fine script carefully. 

“It’s the invites for the ball from Countess Organa, and an invitation for tea at her estate tomorrow.”

Rey’s eyes widened. Would she see him again then?

No, she reminded herself, she was married, and wasn’t privy to such fantasies of love and romance. She traded that away a long time ago.

Even if he was extremely charming. 

“How delightful,” she responded dazily, finishing the last of her cup. She glanced into the remains of her tea leaves and wondered what they would tell her, if anything, about her visit to Moscow. She had a feeling it would be more than she ever would have anticipated. 

And it had something to do with Count Ben Solo, or Kylo Ren, whomever he was. 

As she put her teacup back on the platter, and Rose and Finn rattled off the local gossip, Rey couldn’t help but remember the eyes that seemed to look down into hers at the railway station and see everything within her down to the bareness of her soul. 

Even when she retired that evening, she thought nothing of her husband and everything of Kylo Ren.

* * *

The day following, Kylo had straightened the cravat of his tie for the fifth time that afternoon. He fussed over the form his valet had left him with that morning, which was quite unlike himself: he always hired staff that was at optimum competency for the sake of efficiency. He felt that a single man of his stature did not need to manage the domestic affairs more than necessary and that a good staff would be able to manage it on his behalf. 

So the fussing and continuous checking of his appearance in the mirrors of the drawing room showcased the absolute chaos of his countenance. He did not know if it was because he felt an unusual sort of fever or the fact his meddling mother decided to actually invite the Kanatas over for tea, which meant Lady Damerona would be over. 

Lady Damerona, who was simultaneously the woman he suddenly wanted the attention of more than anything and the woman who was the most unattainable.

A woman who was already married. 

He moved around the reception room at his mother’s estate with a nervous energy, slightly adjusting everything in sight so that it was just right. His mother sighed while reading the newspaper, aware of her only son’s anxious energy.

“My dear, your nerves are filling up the entire estate,” she remarked, looking up at him from her newspaper. 

He rolled his eyes as if he were still the rebellious teenager of days past. “Forgive my disturbance,” he remarked, lacking the usual wit of his character, “I’m sure you’re more than adequately taken with current events.”

Countess Organa folded the newspaper and looked up at him with slightly bemused eyes. 

“It is only tea,” she pointed out, “And things will go alright with Lady Damerona.”

He scoffed, his familial stubbornness showing its form. “It has nothing to do with her, Mother.”   
  


Now it was her turn to roll her eyes. “Do you think me so blind that I cannot see your affection for her? I’ll have you know that I was not actually born yesterday,” she replied dryly. 

Ben huffed at the jab, cheeks flushing. He wasn’t one for affection towards others and his lack of knowledge on how to proceed with regard to his feelings made him discomforted. He leaned on the mantle of the fireplace, resting his chin on his fist. After a slight pause, he responded. 

“She’s married,” he confessed, not giving his mother the satisfaction of a direct answer. 

“A small detail,” she responded, opening his newspaper again for her perusal, “She certainly isn’t happy with her husband.”

Kylo’s interest piqued and he lifted his head from his fist, facing towards her. “And how do you know this to be true? Are you blessed with such prophetic intuition?”

With streamlined delivery, the Countess haughtily replied, “The entirety of the train ride from St. Petersburg she did not mention her husband.”

He scoffed again. “That means nothing.”

“Oh really?” his mother replied with a certain lilt of smugness to her words, lowering the newspaper slightly, “So it wouldn’t be odd for a newly married woman of her station to not mention her husband in any description during a four hour long conversation?”

He gave in to her point. “Not if she wanted to forget about him at the earliest opportunity.”

“Exactly, my dear.”

“But still,” he replied, walking more confidently to the chaise lounge across from her, “That doesn’t change the fact she’s married.”

“No, it doesn’t,” she replied, “But it means her heart is still available. Regardless, my earlier point stands, it is just tea.”

And on that note, the butler Charles Trespeo came in to announce the arrival of the Kanatas. 

“ _ Madame et Monsieur _ ,” he greeted with a slight bow, “The Kanatas are here. Shall I see them in?”

“ _ Oui _ , Charles, _ merci beaucoup _ , and has Dedeux finished preparing the tea?”

“ _ Oui _ , Madame. Shall I bring it in?”

“ _ Oui, merci _ .”

He turned out of the room. Charles and Arteux Dedeux were recent transfers from the Countess’ Parisian residence, and as such brought over their French linguistic notions. The Countess found it charming to have a little taste of France, whereas Kylo had found keeping a French staff initially to be an unpatriotic trend of the Russian aristocracy.

But then he had some of Dedeux’s pâtisseries and had slightly adjusted his opinion on the matter. 

When the Kanatas walked in, dressed in their daytime finery, Kylo stood up in a show of respect. He met the gaze of Rey’s cautious but polite stare and lost his breath, as if someone had reached down his throat and robbed him of all the air in his lungs. Her gloriously beautiful golden green eyes seemed to constantly capture his fascination and attention to the point the other guests faded into the periphery of the room. The pale blue dress she wore accented her exposed collarbone in a way that had Kylo thinking about how he could kiss along the edges of her breast, up her neck, and to the corners of her lips. 

He finally remembered to breathe, but not how to speak. Luckily he had his mother for that. 

“Ah, my darling Lady Damerona,” she greeted, moving to kissing Rey on the cheeks  _ a la francaise _ , “I’m so pleased you and your family could join us for tea.”

“Of course, Countess,” she responded in kind, “Thank you for having us. I’m sure you remember my brother Fyodor, and this is my sister Rose.”

His mother greeted the two Kanatas appropriately, and Kylo began to walk closer towards Rey at the periphery. She smiled at his arrival, curtsying in respect. He took her hand and grazed the knuckles with his lips, maintaining her gaze. She stuttered on her inhale and parted her lips which sent a nearly animalistic thrill down into his gut. 

“Are you well, Lord Ren?” she asked, quickly recovering, when he straightened his back.

Kylo tried to hide his minute disappointment: he longed for her to say that long dead name again for some ineffable reason, even if it was long murdered. “Yes, thank you. Have you recovered from your journey?”

Rey, out of the corner of her eye, saw the Countess talking animatedly with Rose and Finn about parenthood and the like, and took the opportunity to continue the conversation. 

“Yes, thank you. You will have to forgive me, however.”

Kylo raised his brow. “For what charge, my lady?”

“My sister informed me that I addressed you by the wrong name at the station,” she confessed, averting his gaze to bear the embarrassment. “I did not realize you went by a different one.”

He cocked an uneven smile - evidence of his lack of practice with such activity. 

“If it pleases you, my lady, you may call me Lord Solo in private.” 

Her eyes softened, opening their padlocks into the kind spirit within. “Thank you, my lord. I do prefer the sound of Ben Solo,” she remarked with a kind smile. 

Kylo flustered under her comment and gave a more natural smile that, unbeknownst to him, lit a small fire right in between Rey’s breasts. 

The moment between them was diverted due to Charles’ announcement of tea. Kylo held out a bent elbow for Lady Dameron; a chivalrous move that was not lost on Countess Organa or the other Kanatas. 

Even Rey thought it unnecessary until she looked up at his flushed cheeks as he muttered, “It would be a sin to lead you in unaccompanied, my lady.”

“Even if it’s the tea room?” she remarked with her dry wit.

He chuckled, feeling more comfort in his action and current company. “Especially if it’s the tea room. My mother’s hound Chouxie makes a small habit of running through the house, you see. It would be such a tragedy for a lady of your high esteem to be overtaken by such a beast.”

Rey giggled, taking his elbow and walking with him. “Well, I am thankful for your protection from such errant fiends.”

Rose, Finn and Leia walked ahead of them down the hallway through the atrium to the green tea room that was adjacent to the garden and woods behind the manor. The natural landscape provided a lovely backdrop to the elaborate spread of sandwiches and pâtisseries, as well as the variety of teas that Countess Organa had imported from London at great expense. 

As the group settled down for tea, Rey, within sufficient decorum, took a cucumber sandwich and healthy samplings of the various desserts. Finn poured her and Rose their mutually adored peppermint teas, while the Countess poured a bolder English Breakfast for her and her son. The discussion between them all flowed naturally, although Kylo in usual fashion decided to be a more passive participant. 

But when Finn teased Rey on her penchant for sweets, he succumbed to the pressure of social interactions.

“Do you like sweet things, Lady Damerona?”

She flushed with a beaming smile. “Yes, I have a particular affection for them, especially French  _ macarons _ . Finn has always teased me about it ever since we were children.”

He chuckled at her endearing smile. “A shared passion with your husband, I imagine?”

It was as if a tempest blew in the room and extinguished the light in her eyes when he made his innocent remark. She averted her eyes and her shoulders sagged slightly, which seemed to go unnoticed by her brother, but most certainly not on Kylo. 

His heart was chiseled away at the sight of her silent sadness. He wanted to almost immediately apologize but Rey, brilliant Rey with eyes like starlight now burnt out, in all her social poise, retorted with a facade of marital happiness accented with a tepid smile. 

“No,” she responded, “He’s not one for such things. It’s certainly not something we converse about often, at least.”

“But he does certainly support your desire for confection, yes?” Rose asked, also sensing her wilted demeanor, in an effort to bring back levity to the conversation. 

Rey dazedly shook her head. “No, he doesn’t purchase them for the house.”

“Not even for special occasions or gifts?” Kylo asked almost brutally. His tone was so straight-forward and harsh one could compare it to wartime interrogations. His frustrations over his affection for Rey and her husband’s reportedly sub-par treatment of her nearly boiled over into his voice. 

If she was his love, God, if only, he would never cease to remind her how treasured she was. He’d call her  _ lyubimaya  _ every morning and night, buy her every sweet treat she ever desired, fill whole rooms of macarons for her to eat even, and clothe her in luxuries so beautiful the Tsarina would be green with envy. If her own husband couldn’t even love her right, why couldn’t he try? 

He had to let her know his affection for her.

Kylo’s usual fixation for social convention seemed to dissipate into nothing when Lady Damerona was concerned. It didn’t matter that she was married - and could never divorce without a huge scandal befalling them - he felt that they were owed a chance to foster their own sort of attraction as it manifested itself as if they were courting. 

She deserved her own happiness, as all individuals deserved to. 

She deserved more than the shattered grief on her face when she looked at him and responded, “He doesn’t buy me things for those sort of events, really.” 

If Kylo was frustrated before, now he felt pure unadulterated wrath. He was halfway tempted to go to St. Petersburg himself and duel the man on Rey’s behalf. 

When he said nothing but this in his stare, her eyes shifted from despair to curious shock. Had she never felt such affection or concern for her before? 

Upon his muteness, his mother, ever the socialite, shifted the tone of conversation promptly. The remainder of the tea proceeded in a whimsical and lighthearted manner, and Rey’s demeanor began to lighten once again to Kylo’s relief.

But, when it was time for them to part, he felt his heart come up his throat as he felt perhaps his only future in love was slipping through his fingers like the sand of an hourglass. 

So, with courage and brazen intuition, he came up beside her and offered his elbow again to escort her along with her family and his mother to the front door to their carriage. She blushed and, with a gleaning smile, she took his arm and walked with him. 

“How long are you in Moscow then?” he asked, working to slow his footsteps to lengthen the distance. 

“Just until the month’s end, then I will go back to St. Petersburg.”

“So soon,” he muttered with frayed pain in his voice.

“Yes,” she replied with a similar morose tone, “But I will make good use of my time in the city, of course, so it will be a worthwhile trip nonetheless.”

“Of course,” he followed, the doorway now in sight. He released her from his elbow, but took her hand still and bent to kiss it. 

“May I call on you this week, my lady?” Kylo asked. 

Rey, feeling warmed by the invitation but held in bondage by propriety, gave a small polite smile. “I am at the disposal of my family so I cannot say.”

“Of course,” Kylo responded with thinly veiled disappointment. 

“But,” she said with a small inflection, drawing his attention back to her, “I’m sure we will find each other again soon, Lord Solo. Other than my niece’s christening, I will be about town and will surely run into your acquaintance. I am sure I will also see you at the Mothma ball?”

He nodded with a sly grin. “I will be in attendance, yes.”

She grinned in return. “It will be good to see a familiar face. I hope you’ll save a spot for me on your dance card.”

“Of course,” he responded, not caring to admit how poorly he danced in comparison to others, if anything to make her satisfied with him. 

“Rey!” Finn called from outside. 

“Be right there!” she called back. She turned to Kylo and curtsied. 

“Until we meet again,” she said as she stood back up, “Lord Solo.”

He nodded politely. “Until then, Lady Damerona.”

She departed then with her family in tow. As the carriage drove off and Kylo watched the outline of it pass the estate grounds with his mother, he felt that his heart that was previously stuck in his throat had somehow driven off with her. He felt a phantom dryness in his eyes that nearly made him want to cry. 

He met this woman only yesterday and already she had wholly possessed him. His determination to see to her happiness, in alternatives to marriage, had him compiling ideas in his brain for the time to come. 

“You are beyond help, it seems,” his mother wryly remarked next to him. 

All he could do was sigh. “It seems so.”

While it was true, he would joyfully drown in that helplessness if it were in the pursuit of Lady Rey Damerona. Already halfway in love with her, he was ready to prove to her that he was capable of providing her happiness. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Russian Notes/Translations**  
>  _tetya_ = "aunt"  
>  _tsarina_ = Russian Empress (wife of the Emperor)  
>  _moi zaika_ = "my bunny" (fun fact, my dad calls my mom "bunny" which influenced my use of it here because FinnRose is CUTE)  
>  _moi solnishko_ = "my sun"  
>  _lyubimaya_ = "sweet one, darling" (in my mind I use it in place of "sweetheart")  
> Natasha is a nickname variation of Natalya, and its used to show affection. I use both interchangably (because I CAN).
> 
>  **Historical Notes**  
>  oh my god the **CLOTHES**!! I was heavily inspired by Joe Wright's 2012 Anna Karenina in regards to the outfits but as a writer I try not to go into too deep of descriptions (cuz I often get derailed woops) so here are some references:  
> [Rey's travel outfit](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/8a/cd/1a/8acd1ad9884feaa89a6cb0a4f099154d.jpg)  
> [Rey's tea dress](https://assets.vogue.com/photos/58777305765c6c7b400f18f5/master/w_1600%2Cc_limit/magazine-keira-cover-story-5_131816545267.jpg)  
> [Kylo's outfit (on left)](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/6b/c1/e6/6bc1e677fc98276feea827aaa635e870.jpg)  
> [Leia's tea dress (on right)](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/29/17/00/291700171e0f7b3827befb8a75a0791e.jpg)  
> [Finn's outfit](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/7e/5d/fb/7e5dfb58beb79af7f2a98abb21c7fad3.jpg)  
> [Rose's tea dress (but make it a dusty rose color)](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/2d/b4/52/2db4526722120d012e435c742e5ac20b.jpg)
> 
> Also, small blurb on the Russian aristocracy and French culture. As noted in the previous chapter, embracing French culture and language was seen as very trendy and high-class within the aristocracy, and if you could keep on French staff, even more so. And a dutiful French maitre d' and cook? the highest of class ;) Some members of the aristocracy saw it (based on what I've read) as "unpatriotic", as Kylo makes note of in this chapter.
> 
> ** Star Wars Notes **   
>  [Temiri](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Temiri_Blagg)   
>  [Banai](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Kitster_Chanchani_Banai)   
>  [Kaydel](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Kaydel_Ko_Connix)   
>  [Jessika](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Jessika_Pava)   
>  [Arteux Dedeux (R2-D2)](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/R2-D2)   
>  [Charles Trespeo](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/C-3PO)


	3. awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I wonder what have you done to Lord Ren to make him smile like that?”
> 
> Rey, still in a daze, wondered the very same. “I have absolutely no idea.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOOOF this chapter is a long one, but its a good one! Hope you all enjoy. I don't plan on updating until mid-February (as I have other collections I'm preparing stuff for that I would like to focus on), but I hope this long chapter will make up for it. The next chapter is also going to be a very long one so it'll make the extra wait so much better.
> 
> As always, the notes are going to be at the end. 
> 
> **IMPORTANT** : there is going to be slight mention of **unhappy pregnancy / reluctant reproducing, and some mention of dehumanizing women as sex objects, etc.** If this will make you a little uncomfortable, skip from "She grimaced as she walked around the art gallery in the Chandrila quarter of Moscow.." to "Rey turned the corner into the next room in the gallery."
> 
> Otherwise, enjoy!

* * *

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟛: 𝔸𝕨𝕒𝕜𝕖𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘

The next week after tea was a conflicting one for Rey. As she enjoyed the time with her nieces and nephews, her mind drifted to Ben Solo, and to the confusion she felt about him. She was drawn to him and his charisma, like a spout of water to a man in a desert. Her memory seemed to repeat over and over again the scenes from tea at the Organa estate, hoping to get satisfaction from the experience. Little did she know, it would not be the last time they would see each other in such a capacity.

They first happened to run into each other when Rey had gone to tea with Rose and her friend Lady Jessika Pavanskaya. They had sat down at their table when she saw him across the room with his mother, who had waved to them as they sat down and invited them to sit with them. Jessika and Rose, eager to sit with the famed Countess, were more than delighted to sit with her and Rey ended up sitting next to Ben, although she respected his request to not call him such in public.

“My lady,” he greeted. 

She smiled in response. “Lord Ren, I trust you’re well?”

His lips twitched. “As well as one can be when at tea with my mother. And you?”

Rey giggled and averted her gaze momentarily before looking back into his eyes, his gaze never leaving her all the while. “Very well, thank you. My sister insisted on accompanying her to her regular tea with Lady Pavanskaya.”

She turned her head to Jessika and Rose, who politely made Ben’s acquaintance. The tea went by quickly through the venues of conversation and the occasional bit of gossip. 

When the tea arrived, Ben poured Rey her peppermint tea.

“I insist,” he said, tilting the ornate pot to pour the fragrant liquid, “It’s your favorite, no?”

Rey swallowed her breath. “You remembered?”

He looked at her, eyes creasing in a silent smile just for her. “Of course. I would never forget such a thing.”

Rose caught Rey’s flushed cheeks and slightly shocked eyes. She grinned into her cup of her own peppermint tea. In all secrecy, while her husband enjoyed the company of Poe Dameron, and thoroughly supported the match, Rose had her doubts. She and Rey might be sisters-in-law, but she was Rose’s sister nonetheless. She wished for her what all sisters do - a life of love and happiness. So, she guarded the moment that Rey and Lord Ren had together by centering the conversation on Jessika and the improvements to her family  _ dacha _ , to which the Countess passionately listened to. 

Rey listened, but occasionally listened to the side comments Lord Ren made and in the end they politely held their own company. 

“When is your niece’s christening?” he asked, sipping his own English Breakfast tea. 

“Thursday,” Rey responded, lifting her tea. 

“Sounds like it will be a grand event from what I’ve heard.”

“Yes, it seems my sister has invited quite a number of guests from Moscow society.”

“How lovely,” he responded, mentally noting that his family did not receive such an invitation. “Do you have any plans other than the christening and the Mothma ball?”

“Well,” she responded, flushing in embarrassment, “It's frightfully embarrassing, but I want to go see the opera and museums while I’m here. I’m quite a fan of the arts, you see, and I don’t get an opportunity to see it at home too often.”

“Because of your husband,” Ren stated, an acrid tone to his voice. 

Rey nodded at the fact, feeling a vice gripping around her heart. “Yes. He finds the arts to be frivolous, unfortunately, and I’m still learning the ways of Petersburg society so I don’t find myself with many companions to venture with.”

“I see.”

“I apologize,” she said, flushing in the embarrassment of disclosing her troubles to the distinguished man, “I do not need to burden you with such grievances.”

“On the contrary,” he said, secretly grasping her left hand under the table. Rey was mute at the tender display of affection, and if she were a more superstitious woman she would have claimed to feel a warming connection through his fingertips. She looked positively stupefied at the touch, at first because it seemed foreign to her, but then because she realized how much she _ liked  _ the feeling of his fingers around hers. He squeezed gently. “I would love nothing more than to shoulder that burden.”

“I-I see,” Rey replied, stammering out her words for the sake of saving face. His fingers immediately left hers and she all at once felt so empty. 

_ What is he doing to me? _

“Rey,” Rose said, capturing her attention, “We should leave, it's near the time for our appointment.”

“Oh!” she said, nearly too loudly, “Of course!”

Rose and Jessika stood, curtsying and saying their goodbyes to the Countess and Lord Ren. “Thank you so kindly for the tea. Please excuse us - our dressmaker much dislikes tardiness.” Rey followed suit, rising slowly from her chair, sparing a glance at Lord Ren, who was simultaneously rising from his seat. She thought she might be imagining things but he seemed to have nearly a wistful look in his eyes, like he was about to cry. 

“Oh, I don’t doubt that,” the Countess replied, “Lady Pavonskaya, I wish you all the best with your  _ dacha _ .”

“Thank you, Countess. Will I see you at the Mothma ball on Saturday?”

“Of course, we will both be there.”

Rey curtsied once more. “Until next time, Countess, it was so lovely to see you so soon.”

She nodded. “Of course, dear. Take care now.”

Rey turned to Lord Ren. “Until next time, Lord Ren.”

Once again, he gently took her hand, bending over to kiss it gently. “A pleasure as always, Lady Damerona.”

They looked at each other once more and she smiled before turning to walk out with the other ladies. 

\---

As Ren sat down, his mother glanced back at him with a look that bordered on proud and cautious. 

“Be careful, my child,” his mother warned, “You must be cautious if you don’t want to lose her.”

“I know,” he replied.

But all he wanted to do was burn the city down with his love for her, letting run wild and unrestrained into the chaos of oblivion. 

She was worth the restraint, but then again, he was only a man. He was at odds with himself: what he wanted and what he should do. If he were truly concerned about what he should do, he would have abandoned all hope long before today. His attraction to Rey was not motivated by reason but by the will of his own heart and soul. Her sadness matched his darkness like twin flames in the night, and he could not rest until he was able to freely love her unconditionally.

But she was married - which was a barrier all on its own.

However, Kylo Ren did not get where he was because of a lack of ambition: he took what he wanted. But, his mother was right, he needed to be strategic. Truly, he wanted Rey to come to him, to act on the bond they so clearly had, rather than force himself upon her like a brute. He wanted a chance to prove himself to her - and maybe to himself as well. 

As tea with his mother continued, he thought perhaps some more inconspicuous meetings might be in order. He made a note of all the museums in Moscow that were of interest, planning his next move in pursuit of Rey.

Even if it was only for a glance of her, it would have been worth it all.

\---

Rey thought she might have been lucky when she first arrived in Moscow. Her graciousness started from being blessed with a wonderful family in Finn and Princess Maz, God rest her soul, as a child. She might have started out with meager means but she found a good family with more love and stability than she would have ever thought. Additionally, she would’ve admitted that, despite her unfulfilling relationship with her husband, she was lucky to have married someone within her rank, who was able to provide for her, and was able to give her some level of freedom. A lot of women in her society did not have such a luxury and she was certainly not one to take her blessings for granted. 

But, the circumstances in her life changed. Lord Ben Solo had changed it all for her, all from a single encounter at a railway station. Now, after two teas with the man, she could no longer deny the fortified bond that built itself between the two of them. It was as if they were tethered to one another by a long string at their fingertips that seemed to get shorter and shorter as time went on. If Rey was a less gracious and virtuous woman, she would have fallen immediately to Ben’s charisma and insisted she leave her husband and run away with him to some foreign land. Women had done a lot more for far less, after all, in the name of romantic love and affection. 

She knew what she would risk if she were to step closer to the heated passions of Lord Ben Solo - and it was all too much for such a risky endeavor. So, she resigned herself, she would be a dutiful wife and distance herself from him. Perhaps, the disappointment sinking in her ribs would fade with time and distance. Besides, she was there to support her family and enjoy the time together that she so rarely got - and would probably have less of. 

She grimaced as she walked around the art gallery in the Chandrila quarter of Moscow, looking at the fine pieces around her. In addition to these musings, she thought about how soon it would be time for Rey to think about her matrimonial duties. Finn and Rose hardly waited to start having children - although, for them, it was natural for such a beautiful love match. Rey had been married to Poe for near a year and there had not even been more than occasional conjugal moments. It was a rare moment where she was grateful for her husband’s disinterest in her and his passionate interest in his military career. 

But, men will always want heirs - so it was only a matter of time. It wasn’t that Rey did not dream of the prospect of children, rather she simply did not want to have a husband who neglected his children as much as his wife. She despised the notion that it was her whole responsibility to care for his progeny; she had seen how Rose and Finn had raised their children, so she knew that it did not have to be that way. 

Rey turned the corner into the next room in the gallery. She was surprised to see a familiar silhouette of black hair sitting in one of the meditative chairs. His sharp golden eyes immediately looked to her and then pinched at the edges as Lord Ren smiled, as if he had finally found something he had been searching for. 

Perhaps it was her recent path of thinking, but Rey couldn’t help but wonder if Ben Solo would be a good father to his children. If the tenderness in his grip was any inclination, he would at least lead his family with love and devotion, which was perhaps more than she could say about her husband. She ignored the slight dry feeling in her mouth when she acknowledged that whomever would have the pleasure of being his wife would be quite the blessed woman. She brightly grinned, to compensate, in response to his smile and curtsied as he bowed.

“Lord Ren,” she addressed.

“Lady Damerona, a pleasure to see you,” he said, taking her hand gently and placing a kiss on her knuckles. In the relative privacy of the gallery, she felt his lips perhaps were lingering for too long. She gave him a wary look - one that had a mixture of curiosity and concern. 

“You did not strike me as having a particularly artistic temperament.”

The politician chuckled. “You may find that I am full of surprises.”

She questioned why she felt heat on her cheeks at the simple statement. He truly was more charismatic than Rose and Finn gave him credit for. 

“Clearly,” she replied. “Have you managed to see the pieces that you came for?”

“Indeed I did,” he replied, his eyes staring right into hers. She flushed harder, feeling a burst of warmth in her chest. She desperately wished for her fan - she could at least try and hide the evidence of her infatuation behind it. 

Before she did something foolish, she curtsied again. “I’m afraid I’m due for lunch with my family shortly. Until we meet again, Lord Ren.”

He gave a small twitch of a smile as he bowed, the misty distance in his eyes nearly escaping her glance. “Until then, my lady.”

As she walked out of the gallery, her ears deaf to everything around her except the swaying of her skirts, she wondered if Lord Ren was toying with her. She was only in Moscow for a short while, perhaps he found it amusing to try and woo a married woman - to tempt her from her virtue. 

Although, a small voice screamed from deep within her, telling her the truth. 

_ These are your first steps,  _ it said.

\---

The days following the gallery visit seemed to happen in a blur for Somehow, through divine intervention or other convenient methods, Rey happened to conveniently run into Ben nearly daily in town. After the art gallery, it was at one of the French cafes, next it was the local dressmakers with his mother, and then he just so happened to be at the local horse races. Rey entertained Finn when Rose opted out of the exuberant event and tried to hide from Lord Ren’s stare from a few sections away. She noticed he must be with some of his political compatriots, which seemed to occupy his attention for a moment before he directed it back to her. She wondered if it was the mulled wine she was drinking that brought on a hot flush or if it was the boldness in his stare that affected her so much. At least she had her fan to hide her face.

The day after the horse race was the day of Natalya’s christening. As per tradition, and because Rose’s family were distant cousins to the Tsar, Rey wore her court garb to the event. She donned her French-style  _ sarafan _ , accented with the Dameron family red colors and the Kanata seal, laurel leaves wrapped around a dagger, on a brooch over her chest. She adjusted her simple  _ kokoshnik _ headdress, adorned with pearl strings on the edges and jewels layered on the top of the crown. Her neck was accented by the family pearls that she inherited from Maz, making Rey feel as if she were a proper society woman. The ring, representing the vow she made to Poe all those months ago, placed on her finger seemed to feel heavier, nearly weighing her down to the ground. Rey valiantly ignored the feeling as she went with the family to the church, and she took a look at the guests discreetly while the priest went through the ceremony. 

_ Of course.  _

She saw him and could see nothing else. Lord Ren had been an honored chaperone of the Princess Kyra Niktoevna Zabrakskaya, the honored wife of Prince Maul Niktovich Zabraksky, his dear political companion, at Natalya’s christening. Rose had mentioned how she aimed to gain the Princess’ favor, and thus had described her to Rey in detail. She wished to be able to have Finn and her be a more dynamic part of Moscow society, and she felt that if she were able to gain this favor, she would have no trouble doing so. Rey recognized the Princess immediately when she saw the black  _ kokoshnik _ with her husband’s crest in the middle.

Lord Ren kept his eyes on her, not shifting away when Rey caught his stare. Neglecting the burgeoning affection in her heart, she attempted throughout the whole rest of the ceremony to avoid the inferno in his stare. She averted her eyes and listened to the holy word of the priest while fanning herself, not paying attention to the increasing rapidity of her motions. 

It had come about so quickly that even Finn turned to her, inquiring about her health, worried that she might have taken a fever. 

She shook her head, lightly rattling the beads of her _ kokoshnik _ , claiming fatigue from her journey and a wandering mind for her erratic motions. The layers of her formal  _ sarafan _ seemed heavier than before, weighing her down to her bones. She did not deign in the house of God to name the real fever she was feeling traveling up her spine. It was as if Lord Ren was reaching through her skin, burning her up into her very core.

Oh, how she wanted to be burned alive. 

But, she resisted the urge when she thought of her duties to Poe. It was not worth the scandal, the ruin it would cause her and her family. She would be destitute - her fortune inherited from Maz would be nothing to live off of for the rest of her life. She was so grateful to the circumstances of her life that she could not bear to think about what would be left for her - a woman who could not even follow through with the responsibilities of her status. She thought of her husband, who had not treated her unkindly, but so happened to neglect her as a husband had a right to do. But, she thought there would be no reason to warrant such shame and disrespect. Furthermore, she wondered, what if Ben changed his mind about her, found someone younger, then what?

There would be no peace. Only misery and ashes. 

But, later, when she caught the beautiful gaze of his golden eyes, gleaning in the sunlight of the reception room where the Kanatas received the guests after the christening, she thought of what could be her greatest happiness. 

She curtsied when Princess Zabrakskaya and Lord Ren presented themselves, offering their congratulations to the family. 

“I don’t believe we have met,” Princess Zabrakskaya greeted Rey.

“Forgive me, Princess,” Rose stated, “This is my sister Lady Reyna Mazonova Damerona. Rey, this is Princess Zabrakskaya.”

“A pleasure, Princess,” she said, bowing as deep as her heavy dress would allow her. “And, as always, it is lovely to see you again, Lord Ren.”

He took her hand into his gloved ones and bowed down to kiss it. He certainly looked the part of a famed politician - he was dressed in a  _ boyar _ ’s coat of all black, save for the strip of red ribbon with a medal-like clasp indicating his status. Rey wouldn’t dare to admit it but he looked extremely handsome, especially with his matching cap. His lips on her hand seemed to set her body ablaze again, as if he were not a mortal man but a god of fire and flames. Perhaps, he was a dragon, come to take her heart, hoping she would willingly give it.

“My lady,” he addressed, “You are truly stunning today, I would think you were the sun incarnate.”

Rey flushed from the attention. “You are too kind, Lord Ren.”

“Ah! So you are already acquainted,” the Princess remarked, holding onto Ren’s arm, even though his stare was completely focused on Rey. “Lord Ren is quite the hero today. You see, my dear husband fell ill this morning, and when I needed an escort to the christening, well, he was readily available. It was a miracle.”

Rey smiled, wondering how thoroughly Ben had accomplished the task of securing an invite. Did he really want to see her so much?

Finn and Rose were talking to the rest of the guests, and it was then a blonde woman came into view. Princess Zabrakskaya waved to her, calling excitedly “Phasma!”

The blonde woman waved back, smiling, “Kyra!”

The princess turned back to Rey and Lord Ren, curtsying again. “Please excuse me, Lady Damerona, would you mind entertaining Lord Ren for me? I doubt he would want to overhear the conversations of two old friends.”

Rey smiled politely, wrestling the mixed feelings of pure excitement and joy and absolute dread in her stomach. “Of course, Princess, if that would be alright with you, Lord Ren?”

Almost too excitedly, he took Rey’s hand into the crook of his elbow. “Nothing would bring me greater happiness.” 

Rey flushed as the two of them began to walk around the edges of the reception hall, walking slowly enough to avoid the eye of the Moscow elite. The two of them stepped in silence, letting the voices of the ballroom provide background music.

“It seems we have run into each other quite a bit, Lord Solo” Rey remarked teasingly. “I wonder how much of it was truly fated.”

Ben huffed a muted chuckle. “Perhaps God felt it in his divine plan.”

Rey laughed gently, hoping to avoid the attention of the other guests. “Or perhaps you are a messenger of his divine wisdom and set it upon yourself to make it happen as his dutiful servant?”

“One could think so,” he replied with a smile. Rey nodded politely and they walked in near anonymity for a little while before Ben spoke again. 

“Have you been so repulsed by my frequent company?” he asked directly, looking to her out of the corner of his eye. Rey couldn’t help but notice the tender vulnerability in his words, and she wondered if he was worthy of her trust.

He was worthy of the truth, at least. 

“No, I wouldn’t say so.”

He smiled. “Good. I must confess something, my lady.” 

She turned her head, looking with slight interest. “Yes?”

“I must admit something, but not here,” he said, his words hushed so that only she could hear, “I know you are at your family’s disposal, but may I please meet you tonight?”

It was clear now that the vulnerability she noticed was also laced with a sliver of desperation. She saw the look in his eyes, the way his brows creased in the middle of his forehead slightly, and all she wanted to do was soothe his fragile heart. Rey, despite her many faults, was gifted with strong intuition, and she could tell that even though Ben was saying nothing, she knew it had to do with his heart. 

“Where?” she whispered before she could stop herself. 

His lips twinged at the edges. “At midnight, I’ll wait for you at the back edge of your family’s garden. I promise to tell you everything then.”

“Okay,” she said, nodding with her heart beating in her ears, “I’ll be there.”

He grinned brilliantly. “Until then, my lady Rey.” He took her hand and kissed it - perhaps longer than he should have - and politely left to escort Princess Zabrakskaya home. She saw Rose come up to meet her, a near conspiratorial grin on her face. 

“I wonder what have you done to Lord Ren to make him smile like that?”

Rey, still in a daze, wondered the very same. “I have absolutely no idea.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Historical Notes** :  
> AH the fashion!!! It's no secret that my visual inspiration is taken heavily from Joe Wright's Anna Karenina costumes, and in this particular chapter I use that to inspire the traditional costumes. I do not know if it is truly a thing that you would wear court wear for such occassions, but the [kokoshnik](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kokoshnik) and [sarafan](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarafan) are historical costumes that you can see most prominently in movies like Anastasia (think the beginning scene). It was mandated that you had to wear such dress in the court up until the 1917 revolution. The "Frenchified" version of it looks like [this](https://www.russiancourses.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/%D0%B8%D0%BC%D0%BF%D0%B5%D1%80-%D0%BC%D0%BE%D0%B4%D0%B0-768x562.jpg) (tucked at the waist with an off-the-shoulder neckline) and I use [this](https://weheartit.com/entry/321502120) particular incarnation of it in the chapter. This reflects the general acceptance of French society among the Russian aristocracy.
> 
>  _Boyar_ is used to refer to nobility as a group, although it is not used specifically in its accurate context (as the Feudal system was abolished by this point in history). The male costume that Ben would be wearing looks similar to [this](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/475340935677033873/) and [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/OldSchoolCool/comments/akfj1f/prince_felix_yusupov_1912/) but of course, would be all black ;) The red ribbon he wears mirrors its use by Karenin in Joe Wright's movie, as see [here](https://media.vanityfair.com/photos/54ca9af47e4b004120bba6c8/master/w_1600%2Cc_limit/image.png).
> 
> Here is what a [dacha](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dacha) is.
> 
>  **Russian Language Notes** :  
> As you can see, I'm still using the patronymic naming convention, but wanted to call out something here. The patronym (the middle of the three names) reflects who your father is (much like the Nordic last name convention e.g. Andersen = "Son of Anders"). Finn and Rey have no father, so they use Maz's name (Mazonova) in lieu of that. Additionally, for Maul and Qi'ra, I use "Niktovich/Niktoevna". "Nikto" in Russian (from my crude research) means "no one/nobody" so they are the children of "no one" to make it in line with SW canon. 
> 
> I could do Rey Nobody similarly, but I decided that Maz is the best adopted Space Mom and deserves the recognition <3
> 
>  **Star Wars Notes** :  
> [(Princess) Jessika Pava(nskaya)](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Jessika_Pava)  
> [(Princess) (Kyra) Qi'ra (Zabrakskaya)](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Qi%27ra)  
> [(Prince) Maul (Zabraksky)](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Maul)


End file.
